Give her the finger! (phase 1)

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This is meant literally.

Very few ladies have not yet taken the time to please themselves. So much so, that I am happy to report that most girls and women like to please themselves. They are quite good at it, and take time and effort to get to know what they like and how they like it. Some are willing to enhance the experience with toys and gadgets. The problem is that women are so adept at the skill that, when they have men in their lives, they may even miss this self-contact or find their men lacking in the ability to please them.

Too often, men feel that if there was no intercourse, there was no sex. You could not be more wrong! As a man who persists in that kind of thinking, you are doing your girl and yourself out of many interesting, fun, exciting, sexy and relationship-building experiences!

Let me tell you why: A woman knows her body. A woman should know herself, and what pleases her. Pleasing oneself by hand is different for a guy: men have an urge or need, they masturbate, and feel relieved. However, it does not make them feel that they have had sex, and neither does it give them the same satisfaction it does a woman. And there’s the rub: women who are pleased by hand or tongue, are often so satisfied, so sated, that the sexual need and desire have been entirely fulfilled. Understand clearly: women can please themselves, but they would much rather have you do it for them!

The reason for this is simple. Women are sensitive, emotional creatures. Having you stroke, tease, touch, feel, engage, search and please her in her most sensitive of places, does not only imply that she is emotionally open to showing and sharing with you her most intimate desires and wishes, but shows her that you are willing to take care of her desires, her wishes and her pleasure entirely. For that intimate moment, it is about her femininity, the importance of her pleasure, and your willingness to please and satisfy her longings only.

It is true too, that pleasing your woman in such an intense and personal way, is sometimes so stimulating for your senses that you might come too. Even if you don’t, men report to me that the feeling of really pleasing their women, seeing, sensing and hearing her satisfaction, gives them a high that is different from sexual intercourse, and even better, in some regards.

If your woman allows you or asks you to please her in this way, it means she trusts you. Build on that trust by giving her your best tender care, attention and effort, putting aside your own physical needs for this occasion, relying on your curiosity and intuition. You will be surprised just how much pleasure YOU will derive from it - it might even satisfy you just as much as it does her.

It is very hard for , women, knowing how much you enjoy and love intercourse, to ask you to just ‘play with them’ for a change. Us ladies would not want you to ever think that we do not enjoy having sex with you, or that we prefer your hand to your joystick.

That is simply not true. We love you, we love your phallus, and we love sex. However, just sometimes, we want it to be all about us. Some may call it selfishness, but let’s be man enough to admit that we all enjoy it when someone goes down on us and it’s all about you for that (all too brief) period of time.

Don’t be surprised if you like it, a lot. The fact that you have so much control over someone’s pleasure is empowering, and I suppose, good for your ego. So, be careful how you use it, and use it with care. It is intimate, sacred, and very special, so it is a shared secret of deep knowledge and understanding between you and your partner, and therefore only discussed and discovered during the act. Girls don’t want to be reminded that they were under your spell and supreme control later on, outside of that situation. It is a magical moment when and while it happens. Keep it that way.