10 of the funniest things kids have said

Kids say darndest things

Children have wild imaginations, and haven’t quite grasped the way things work yet. Because of this, they can say some pretty funny things which make us laugh hysterically, cringe with embarrasment, or want to sit them down for a little talk about the facts of life. We found a couple of gems across the internet - take a look at ten of the funniest we found:

10. Feeling old

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?" (rinkworks.com)

 9. Responding without ‘skaam’

My four-year-old son was in the bathroom with the door closed.

I knocked and said, “What’s going on in there?”

His reply: “Nothing, it’s just me and my penis.” (Thought Catalogue)

8. When Kids agree

This morning, my wife told my 3-year-old daughter that owls were nocturnal. My daughter responded, “Yes, owls are not turtles.” (Thought Catalogue)

7. They don’t miss a thing

“I used a basketball pump needle to clean weed resin out of a pipe the day before a neighbour kid asked to borrow my ball pump. As he pumped his ball he said, ‘Hey! This smells like my uncle Joe’s house!’” (Buzzfeed)

6. When they’re good, they’re good

Dad to Daughter: ‘’This body wasn’t made for ballet.’’

Daughter to Dad: ‘’Don’t worry, I’ll show you my moves.’’ (The Stir)

5. This is how easily they can get away with things

 After getting in trouble for something a little boy said, “I’m only 5—I don’t know all the rules yet!” (imom)

4. If they only knew what they were saying

While waiting in line to get her picture taken with Santa, I was giving my 2-year-old daughter pieces of popcorn one at a time as a snack. I must have been a little slow with my delivery and she shouted “MORE COCKPORN DADDY” at the top of her lungs. It was awesome. (Thought Catalogue)

3. NO, that’s not the right word!

My son walks up to me with his hands dangling under his chin, fingers spread out and wiggling around.

Son: “Mom, like my beard of testicles?”

Me: “…What? Beard of … what?”

Son: “My beard of testicles. I’m an octopus”

Me: “TENTACLES kiddo. They’re called tentacles”

Son: “Yeah, that’s what I meant” (Huffington post)

2. He’s right, you know!

"There's no one in there." -- 6 year old son, in response to seeing his father hanging pictures and tapping on the walls to find the support beams. (rinkworks)

1. Filter? What filter?

Kid: “I wish I was a dog.” Mom: “Why’s that, hon?” Kid: “So I could see what my nuts taste like.” (BuzzFeed)

Having kids around means there’s never a dull moment. They’ll usually come out with some real crackers at the worst times, or when you least expect it. One thing is for sure, there’s no way of sneaking anything past them and they’re definitely sharper than you think!